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| 60 Ways... |
| May 14 2008 by April | 3 Comment(s) |
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To Confuse Your Roommate 1. Sit up. Say "time to make the doughnuts." Leave. Do this often. 2. Name your animal crackers. Mourn for them after you eat them. 3. Express an extreme fear of sunlight. Move away from and flinch at any areas of the room that are sunny. 4. Pick up the phone every five minutes and say "hello." Look confused and hang up. 5. Answer the alarm clock when the phone rings and vice versa. 6. Hang your posters upside down. 7. Unwrap a candy bar. Throw the chocolate away. Eat the wrapper. Smile. 8. When listening to the radio, sing along with different lyrics and a different tune. 9. Constantly drink from an empty glass. 10. Announce "nature is calling." Run for the phone. Answer it. 11. Seal an envelope. Write a letter. Complain loudly that you cannot get it into the envelope. Discard and repeat. 12. Aerate your underwear drawer. Claim "they" are not getting enough oxygen. 13. Every time you handle something of your roommate's, use a tissue or gloves. 14. Respond to your roommate's questions with unrelated answers. 15. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan. 16. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes. 17. When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone, screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up say, "That was your mom. She said she'd call back." 18. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the lights and go to bed. 19. Start wearing a crown all the time. If your roommate tells you to take it off say, "What the hell do you think you are? A king?" 20. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, but leave it on the floor. Ignore the sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it and then say, "Hey, where the hell is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are hungry. 21. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong." 22. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks. |
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